Newfound Freedom

I am finally free.

The childhood nightmare that tormented me
well into adulthood.

The confusion and despair that my mind carried
for so many years.

The pain and anger that lingered within my heart.

It is all gone.

My soul rejoices its new found freedom.

True happiness is now here and for the first time I see the colors of the world.

The purity in the face of a content soul. 

The sound of a child's laughter.

The warmth the sun offers and the breeze that
whispers to me.

All of this that I use to take for granted,
I can now enjoy with clarity.

I have been given an opportunity to be
a part of something great,

that something is we call LIFE.  
I have no right to waste it.

I no longer doubt who I am
and in my ability to be exceptional.

I choose today and always to be a continuous learner and lend a hand to those in need.

When it's my turn to make space for the next to come, I WILL leave a legacy.
I will live out this newfound freedom.

 

LRP

Pursuit of Happiness

We’ve all heard of the Pursuit of Happiness (I’m not talking about the movie, even though I highly recommend you watch it).  As we go through our lives searching for the “thing” that makes us happy we go and buy stuff that we don’t need, to impress people that don’t care or maybe we look for happiness in another human being.  Although those things can make us very happy they are not our happiness.  What took me 33 years to realize is that my happiness is in MY hands, by MY choice, by MY actions.

Seven years ago I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma for the second time, the most curable of cancers according to my oncologist.  When you are diagnosed with cancer, one of the first things that your oncologist will do is stage it.  That just means that they need to figure out how aggressive the cancer is and how far it has spread.  Being a two time cancer survivor I have been staged at a one and two years later at IIA (2A).  The things that I had to experience in order to get my body healthy again are some that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  However, I will tell you that I am grateful for those experiences more today than I have ever been.  As I mentioned to a couple of friends today, not only do these life experiences teach you more about who you are, they also force you to appreciate the small things in life.

In realizing that dying was not an option, I started searching for more.  More of what? You might wonder… more of anything and everything.  I instinctively knew that even though my life had been spared once for a reason there was an obvious message that I still hadn't received, and I was going to do whatever it took to find out what that was.  In the meantime, I made it a point to get closer to Him, (because let’s face it that’s what some of us do when we are desperate).  And in doing that, I ended up at a church my aunt had invited me to.  At the end of the service, the pastor approached me and said something like this… you know Lorena, you are one of the luckiest persons on earth.  I immediately thought “really? You jerk, I have cancer how lucky is that?”  Obviously I didn’t dare say that aloud.  The pastor must have read my thoughts or facial expression because he then said the following…  You have been chosen to go through this struggle, it’s not going to be easy and there will be days when you want to give up but you have to remember this…  You have been chosen because you are not only strong enough to survive this but you will be an inspiration to many who are going through their own struggles.  You will be a giver of hope.  You will be an example of strength. 

On my hour drive home I gave this some thought and until this very day I allow myself to think of this moment.  I don’t know what moved this man (yes I do) to convey this message to me, but it’s no coincidence that the people around me started flocking to me and talking about how much I had inspired them to be strong through their divorce and/or how I had given them a different perspective on what they thought were “real” issues.  And my favorite was when people would tell me that looking at me made them realize that “if I could do it, they could do it too.”

I am now a two time cancer survivor and have been in remission for almost 7 years, but honestly I had to go back in time to give you that number because I am NOT counting.  I have learned so much especially in the last 2 years and I’ve finally accepted my purpose and have embraced it completely.   I will do whatever it takes to help people reach their full potential in life.  I will be that beacon of hope.  I will deliver what has been requested from me and that is to remind us that we are capable of living our lives to its fullest and we are capable of being our ultimate and happiest self if only we allow it.  In 2006 and 2008 the word STAGE meant a “bad” thing… it brought fear because it would confirm “how bad it was” or how “aggressive” the cancer was.  Nowadays the word STAGE is a beautiful thing… The STAGE is where I will be very soon, spreading my message of life.

From my heart to yours,
LRP

Only the beginning of the 4 year battle

The unique smell that you can only find in cold sterilized buildings had become too familiar to her, instantly reminding her of the taste of iodine and chemotherapy her eyes swelled up with tears, she was having a weak moment.  At 24 years of age she had been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and her Oncologist broke the news to her by saying it was the most curable type of cancers out there.  She had been walking down this same isle everyday for the last couple of months, but today she just didn't feel like being strong.  She thought of the nurse that had told her just a few months back while giving birth to now her 7 month old daughter, "honey don't worry all mothers leave their dignity in the hospital!" referring to her shyness in having to allow the head nurse to check how close to giving birth she was.  

Radiation consisted of her laying on her back completely still and naked from the waste up while the platform she lay on swayed her according to the specifications the Radiologist had entered.  She was so sick of it, the mere smell of the gown made her want to throw up.  She was so exhausted of working full time and caring for 3 children, but she was most tired of pretending to be strong.  Don't cry she told herself... Don't start because if you start you won't be able to stop.

LRP

The Virtue Of A Woman

The Virtue Of A Woman

When God created woman he was working later on the 6th day.

An angel came by and said: "Why spend so much time on that one?"

And the Lord answered:

"Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her? She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart and she must do all this with only two hands."

The angel was impressed. "Just two hands...impossible! And this is the standard model? Too much work for one day...wait until tomorrow and then complete her."

"I will not", said the Lord. "I am so close to completing this creation, which will be the favorite of my heart. She cures herself when sick and she can work 18 hours a day."

The angel came nearer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft", said the Lord, "But I have also made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome."

"Can she think?" the angel asked.

The Lord answered: "Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate."

The angel touched the woman's cheek. "Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her."

"She is not leaking...it's a tear" the Lord corrected the angel.

"What's it for?" asked the angel.

And the Lord said, "Tears are her way of expressing grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride."

This made a big impression on the angel; "Lord, you are genius. You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvelous!"

"Indeed she is! Woman has strengths that amaze man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when feeling like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid.

She fights for what she believes in. Stands up against injustice. She doesn't take "no" for an answer, when she can see a better solution. She gives herself so her family can thrive. She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid. Her love is unconditional.

She cries when her kids are victorious. She is happy when her friends do well. She is glad when she hears of a birth or a wedding. Her heart is broken when a next of kin or friend dies. But she finds the strength to get on with life. She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart.

There is only one thing wrong with her…

SHE FORGETS WHAT SHE IS WORTH."

 

Thanks to:

http://successnet.org/

 

Still Clinging On To Yesterday?

There have been times that life has thrown us a curve ball.  Sometimes that curve ball hits us right in the face, hard.  The initial blow will have us go through different phases such as pain, anger, sadness and eventually in some cases acceptance.  However, sometimes we allow pain to linger longer than it should; our anger turns into resentment and sadness turn into depression. 

As we start the grieving process we must allow ourselves to move on.  As painful as your situation might have been you need to realize that it’s passed and there isn’t anything that happens to us that we can’t learn from.

You might be thinking right now that I don’t know what it feels like to have lost a loved one, or to fear the person who is supposed to protect you;  you might think that I don’t know what it feels like to fear for your life and or what it feels like to be physically, verbally and sexually abused.  And even then these are not the worst things that have happened to one human being.  There are many people out there that have had a much more challenging life than mine. 

Many of us allow these events in our lives to affect us for years.  We carry it with us on a daily basis, we have nightmares of our abuser, we are resentful against those who we thought should have protected us.  We are angry with ourselves for not doing more about it.  We take it out on others who don’t deserve it.  We put up invisible walls and refuse to let the world in.  We convince ourselves that we are not worthy of happiness.   Ultimately we punish ourselves for the sins of others.

Don’t allow that to be you.  Don’t allow yourself to carry the past around for another minute.  Whatever experiences your life has brought you, allow yourself to learn from them.  Turn anger into passion and passion into visions, turn visions into goals and goals into realities! Let go of the past and embrace your future!

 

LRP

So, you think you're trapped?

How many times have you felt trapped, disillusioned, disappointed and afraid?  These are common feelings that we have all experienced at one point or another during our life time.  How would you like to go through life never having to experience those feelings again?   What do you think you need to do or have in order to get rid of these feelings?  Some of you might think, “If I was rich I would never feel disappointed” or “If I was the number one sales person, I would never feel like a failure”…  While these two ideas are great and I encourage you to reach your goals, I want you to understand that while you are committing yourself to your goals you have a choice to never feel these feelings again.

Our whole entire existence is based off of the choices that we make.  Let’s use the often used phrase; “stuck in a dead end job” are you really stuck?  Do you have a choice to do whatever it takes to move on?  YES!  The easy way is to make excuses for yourself or rationalize why you can’t leave that dead end job.  If you take a moment to consider all the choices you have without making excuses or lying rationally (rationalize) to yourself, I am willing to bet that you will find more than one other choice to whatever situation you are in.

Now just to clarify, I am not telling you to quit your job that in your opinion is a “dead end job” because even though that might be your perception when and if you pay close attention you might find that there are opportunities that you had never seen before.

This goes for any situation in life.  The girlfriend that is with the abusive boyfriend or vice versa…    The person who feels lonely… The mother who has a disrespectful teenager… The manager who has a challenging employee… and the list goes on and on.

We can choose to look at any difficult situation and mope about it day in and day out OR we can choose take a microscope and look deeply into what choices we have to change it.  If you are able to turn your attitude instantly into an optimistic one and believe that you are capable of anything that you put your mind to, you will realize that your whole life is about the choices that you made.  Don’t you dare say, it’s too late for me, I’ve already screwed up too much, I can’t fix this...  Those are excuses and an excuse is always the easy way out. 

 

Consider the following and start making the right choices TODAY! 

#1 Change your attitude about the way you see things.

#2 Stop making excuses.

#3 Create the change you want to see in yourself.

#4 Don’t ever, EVER give up!


LRP

 

Are you living or existing?

“One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching.”

 

Many of us go through our lives waiting for some grand miracle, saying things like, “when this happens then I can….”  What we fail to realize is that life is happening right now, TODAY.  In the meantime, as we are waiting for whatever it is that we are waiting for, we are losing precious moments in time.  Our lives are slipping by us and the crazy thing (for lack of a better word) is that we are allowing it!

 How long ago did you tell yourself you were going to lose weight, ask for that promotion, change jobs, buy a home, read a book?  Two months, two years, twenty years?  What has held you back?  Sometimes we are so afraid of the “what if’s” that we rather not try.  We forget or don’t realize that we are put on this earth for something great!

 

Now, what is that “great” thing that we were placed here for?  What is our purpose?  You’ve heard “What is the meaning of life”; you need to answer that to yourself.  Take time to stop your busy, loud life and listen to your inner voice.  What is it that has called you since you were a child?  What is it that you’ve always said, “if I could I would”. 

 

What we as human beings fail to realize is that we place our own restrictions.  We easily make excuses for ourselves and conveniently forget that we have a choice.  Everything that we do (or don’t do) is by choice.  Today you made a choice to wake up happy, sad, angry, annoyed… whatever mood you woke up with was YOUR choice.  Taking into account that things happen to us in life that make us go through a range of emotions that are not always popular or the best to have, we still have a choice.  We choose how we want to react to the current state our life is in.  Why not start with some simple steps:

 

Say all the things you love about yourself daily.

When you wake up, make it a habit to look at yourself in the mirror and repeat it out loud on a daily basis.  This is a reaffirmation of what we already know but sometimes won’t admit to ourselves.

 

When asked how you are doing, always say “great!” no matter how you think you are feeling.

This will ultimately become a habit and if you are wording it out loud your mind will   believe and thus make it easier to change your attitude from ok to great!

Smile More!
I’m talking about a real smile, don’t fake it and if you have to fake it, “fake it till you make it"! Actions speak louder than words, smiling will ultimately help you change your mood no matter what it is that you are feeling that day.

 

Take time for yourself to do something that you love!

It’s easy to get caught up in life.  This eventually piles up and you will become an unhappy person.  Don’t say you don’t know what you like to do; by saying that you are admitting something that is not true.  We all have something we are passionate about you just have to listen to your inner voice.

Get rid of the noise.
We live in an era where technology has given us more noise then we need.  With television, the internet, our smart phones, etc. we no longer take the time to go to a quiet place.  Find a time and place where you can think or not think.  During your drive to and from work, while taking a jog, in the shower, or through meditation.  Whatever calls you, use it to find a quiet and peaceful time for yourself.

You only get one life, so LIVE IT!

 

LRP