Pursuit of Happiness

We’ve all heard of the Pursuit of Happiness (I’m not talking about the movie, even though I highly recommend you watch it).  As we go through our lives searching for the “thing” that makes us happy we go and buy stuff that we don’t need, to impress people that don’t care or maybe we look for happiness in another human being.  Although those things can make us very happy they are not our happiness.  What took me 33 years to realize is that my happiness is in MY hands, by MY choice, by MY actions.

Seven years ago I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma for the second time, the most curable of cancers according to my oncologist.  When you are diagnosed with cancer, one of the first things that your oncologist will do is stage it.  That just means that they need to figure out how aggressive the cancer is and how far it has spread.  Being a two time cancer survivor I have been staged at a one and two years later at IIA (2A).  The things that I had to experience in order to get my body healthy again are some that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  However, I will tell you that I am grateful for those experiences more today than I have ever been.  As I mentioned to a couple of friends today, not only do these life experiences teach you more about who you are, they also force you to appreciate the small things in life.

In realizing that dying was not an option, I started searching for more.  More of what? You might wonder… more of anything and everything.  I instinctively knew that even though my life had been spared once for a reason there was an obvious message that I still hadn't received, and I was going to do whatever it took to find out what that was.  In the meantime, I made it a point to get closer to Him, (because let’s face it that’s what some of us do when we are desperate).  And in doing that, I ended up at a church my aunt had invited me to.  At the end of the service, the pastor approached me and said something like this… you know Lorena, you are one of the luckiest persons on earth.  I immediately thought “really? You jerk, I have cancer how lucky is that?”  Obviously I didn’t dare say that aloud.  The pastor must have read my thoughts or facial expression because he then said the following…  You have been chosen to go through this struggle, it’s not going to be easy and there will be days when you want to give up but you have to remember this…  You have been chosen because you are not only strong enough to survive this but you will be an inspiration to many who are going through their own struggles.  You will be a giver of hope.  You will be an example of strength. 

On my hour drive home I gave this some thought and until this very day I allow myself to think of this moment.  I don’t know what moved this man (yes I do) to convey this message to me, but it’s no coincidence that the people around me started flocking to me and talking about how much I had inspired them to be strong through their divorce and/or how I had given them a different perspective on what they thought were “real” issues.  And my favorite was when people would tell me that looking at me made them realize that “if I could do it, they could do it too.”

I am now a two time cancer survivor and have been in remission for almost 7 years, but honestly I had to go back in time to give you that number because I am NOT counting.  I have learned so much especially in the last 2 years and I’ve finally accepted my purpose and have embraced it completely.   I will do whatever it takes to help people reach their full potential in life.  I will be that beacon of hope.  I will deliver what has been requested from me and that is to remind us that we are capable of living our lives to its fullest and we are capable of being our ultimate and happiest self if only we allow it.  In 2006 and 2008 the word STAGE meant a “bad” thing… it brought fear because it would confirm “how bad it was” or how “aggressive” the cancer was.  Nowadays the word STAGE is a beautiful thing… The STAGE is where I will be very soon, spreading my message of life.

From my heart to yours,
LRP