Goodbye Yesterday, Hello Tomorrow

I carelessly dove head first into the deep ocean of sorrow that I created with my own tears.

Everything I thought I had, I lost and all that was left now were endless waves of memories and regrets. My body was weak, my heart was broken and my soul had lost it's faith.  Allowing my body to go limb I sink deeper into the darkness. I now refuse to fight for my life instead I allow my lungs to be filled with the liquid of my own pain.

I embrace the pressure of the heaviness around me and sink deeper into the abyss.

As the darkness slowly took over my whole being, hope kindly whispered in my ear awakening the fighter who I had denied myself from for so long.  With the last ounce of the life left in me I frantically begun to swim toward the shimmering light at the top the ocean.  The warrior inside of me refused to allow me to sink.

In an an attempt to breath again I am reminded of my constant companion.  The shadow of the woman I once was.  The woman with a pure soul.  The woman whom I long to be again.

Today, I am blinded by the beauty of tomorrow.  I can now feel my soul reaching to the heavens above, towards the reflection of who I use to be.   The day will come when I finally reach my tomorrow and my wounds will turn into scars and those scars will turn into memories... memories of experiences that turned me into the woman that I was born to be.

My Love

Love...the most powerful emotion that a human being could ever experience.  

Provoking a storm inside of me that quenches the thirst that had immensely overwhelmed my entire being.

Love....You gift me with sense of belonging and purpose, you make me whole.

Love, you've reminded me of what matters most...

You've made human again and yet you've made me immortal in every way.

You've taken me to the moon and back and declared infinite moments filled with the creation of a lifetime filled with a thousand mystical memories.

Stay my Love... Stay for Always...

From my heart to yours,

LR

Chocolate Cake

Eating a piece of chocolate cake and I feel in heaven.  It’s been a long time since I have felt this whole… this complete.  And yet, it is not the cake or the beautiful weather or the sounds of a child’s laughter that are making me feel the utter and compete joy that I am feeling today but the acceptance of letting go of a past that had sucked me into the abyss.

It’s ironic how sometimes you find peace in the places you weren’t looking or in the people whom you wouldn’t expect to make you feel this way.

As uncommon as it has become to be able to trust in others because of all the selfishness and betrayal that exist in this world, it is imperative that we don’t forget that there are still people (many people) out there that are genuinely beautiful.  These are beings that are selfless and genuinely want the best for you. 

That’s all I have for today.  Just feeling utterly grateful and want to remind you and myself that there is a whole world out there waiting for us... a world filled with chocolate cake! ;)

From my heart to yours,

Lorena

Unconditional Love

What is unconditional love, exactly that, unconditional.

 

When you love this way, there are no restrictions, no rules, no pride, nor judgment.

 

There is nothing that the person that you love in this form can do wrong in your eyes.

 

You are willing to take on so much hurt and pain for this person.

 

Your faith and hope is above and beyond anything you have ever felt before.

 

You put them before you at all cost.

 

You forget about everything that matters to you and make sacrifices that you would never make for anyone else.

 

When the unconditional love exist for the opposite sex, everything that you are is born and exposed to them.

 

You feel as if you are on a cloud of happiness when they are with you and you feel like you can accomplish anything because they love you in return.

 

You would fight for their love and approval at all costs and you would do anything to reach into their souls in hopes that they will love you back.

 

In your eyes they are flawless and no matter how much time, pain or distance goes by, what you feel for them doesn’t change.

 

When you are with the one that owns your heart, times slips you by and you feel as if you two are the only ones in the world.

 

When you look into their eyes you could feel their soul and within your touch you can feel their entire existence.

 

All of a sudden it feels as if you knew them your whole life and there was never a division in between.

 

It feels as if they are your home and you would do anything to be wrapped in their arms.

 

When the love is mutual, no one else exists for you two, you are alone in this world filled with billions of people.

 

When the love is mutual, your words are like music to each other’s souls and your smiles and gestures are like a ballerina prancing on her home stage.

 

When the love is mutual, there is nothing that can change or divide what you feel no matter how you try to fight it.

 

No matter how many people you go through in an attempt to forget, you will always come back, because there will never be anyone that can fill the spot that your true love holds.

 

For the rest of your life your heart cringes with the thought that maybe, they no longer feel the same and you hurt when you think that they have forgotten about you.

 

The irony behind that, is that because your love is unconditional, your pain won’t matter.

Because as long as they are happy you will convince yourself that you are happy too.

 

 LRP 4/23/15

 

Kumbaya

If you are familiar with the song "Kumbaya" I am sure it is easy to picture a group of people gathered around a campfire singing in perfect harmony.  It's an image of peace and tranquility, but perhaps for some it's a silly thing that they wouldn't be caught dead doing. 

To me, the word kumbaya reminds me of peace, tranquility, love, unity, serenity...  

We are all born with our unique personalities, however I believe strongly that many of our habits are learned behaviors.  Being quick to anger, holding a grudge, hate, jealousy, stubbornness these are all learned behaviors.  I am certain that we are born with a pure heart and each of us is gifted and assigned a purpose however, circumstances allow us to mold into our environment and forget who we REALLY are.

Ever had that feeling that "you should have..." I should have allowed that person in front of me, I should have washed the dishes, I should have stopped and helped the person on the side of the road, I should have stood up for my friend, I should have taken the time to listen...  That "should have" feeling is YOU, your inner self. Some might call it conscious or subconscious.

Consider this, if you were to follow your "should haves" what is the worst that could happen? Now what is the best that could happen? Perhaps that you would feel GREAT about yourself?  Why do  you think you get that sense of accomplishment when you complete a task or project?  What about when you do something good for others?  It's because you were true to your heart (to your inner self) you followed your "should have" feeling.

There is a fire inside of you just waiting to come out.  This fire will allow for anything and everything that you dream, wish and desire and listening to your "should have" is the first step to transforming your life.  It doesn't mean that you have to become an overnight "kumbaya" sensation I'm just asking you to give your inner self a chance to express itself.  The marvelous thing about this is that YOU already have the answers!  All you need to do is tune in to your inner self and accept what your heart is tasking you with.  That my friends, is going to lead you directly to your destiny, your purpose.

Be an Optimist!

The Wall

I am an emotional and sentimental creature and because of that I’ve fallen in love hard.  Because of that I am very protective of the beings that I love and I keep my friends close.  I’ve given myself completely and I live passionately.  I would do anything and everything for others and as a mother I would lay my life for my children in a second.  I am there for my friends when they need encouragement, I cry with my sister when she is sad, I am the glue that keeps my family together.

In spite of all that, in the past I would sometimes sit and wallow in darkness.  I thought I was a worthless being with nothing to offer the world.  I couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror because of my size.  I felt alone and afraid.  I considered myself a “nobody”.  The insane thing was that I wasn’t a “nobody” and if you asked my family and friends they would share how “happy go lucky” “always smiling” “sweet” person I was, not a single one of them knew about the torment I would put myself through. 

We all have different reasons for ending up in this world of darkness.  This world of darkness can prove to be a difficult to come out of, but anything worth having is worth the fight, and coming out of that darkness is well worth every ounce of fight that is in you!

Believe me, I am the queen of circumstances… Circumstances have caused me enough pain to put up a wall as big as The Great Wall of China.  But one day, I realized that this wall wasn’t just “protecting” me of outsiders, it was actually keeping out the goodness of life out as well.  I realized my walls were drowning me and I was the cause of my sadness.  One day, I had to wake up and take responsibility.  I had to wake up and do something about it.  I had to allow myself to be vulnerable and I had to learn that vulnerability didn’t equal weakness.  I allowed myself to go into to deepest room of my dark place and face my demons. 

I won’t promise you that it will be easy and I won’t promise you that it will be quick, but I do promise you one thing… This side of the wall is absolutely beautiful.  This side has beaches with warm sand, and greenest grass you will ever see.  This side has opportunity and truth.  This side has family and friends.  This side has love.  This side is SAFE.

Give YOURSELF a chance.  BELIEVE IN YOU.  YOU are stronger then you can ever imagine.  YOU are smarter than you think.  YOU are creative and YOU are just… PERFECT.  You are capable of anything and everything that you set your mind to.  IT’S TIME.  It’s time to let go of your fears and insecurities.  It’s time to stop beating yourself up.  It’s time.

It’s time to start living as the creature that you have been created precisely to be.   You don’t believe me? Consider this…

Women, do you know that we have the power to cure a broken heart with a hug and a scrape with a kiss?  Did you know that ironically your soft skin has proven over and over to be as tough as steel?  Do you realize that you are a creature that loves unconditionally and that you can express anything from sadness, grief, pain, to happiness, laughter and pure joy with tears?  Do you realize that you give yourself for others constantly?  You fight when you see injustice and do whatever it takes to help your family succeed? 

Men, do you know that it is your strength that leads your family?  Do you know that because of you, your wife and children are able to sleep soundly? Do you know that because of your loyalty, honor, pride and courage everyone in America can wake up daily with the freedom of choice?

Consider this….. (fill in the blank)

 

From my heart to yours,

LRP