This morning, as I do many other Sundays; I was watching Super Soul Sunday... Oprah's guest was a lady by the name of Debra Ford. I'd never heard of her before but she was talking about a topic that has been too near for comfort for me and several of my loved ones, Cancer (really doesn't even deserve to have a capital C). So what I got from her was that even as a spiritual leader she herself couldn't and wouldn't accept the fact that she was sick. She felt that she should somehow be immune to this horrible disease because she had spent so much of her time helping others so why would this happen to her. She was frank about how upset she had been (note: pass tense) with God. I found it remarkably interesting that Oprah told her that when she found out she was sick her first thought was that Debra was someone who didn't like to be vulnerable and so in a sense this would make her vulnerable. So the show went on about how she finally accepted it but refused to allow the doctors to tell her how much time she had left (since they told her it was terminal).
Watching her, I thought that somehow she was ok and that she wasn't dying... I thought that she had been cured. I was soaking in her strength and courage. When she said "No, I am NOT dying" I said "Amen Sister!" and I was happy for her... then, at the end of the show there was a beautiful image of her and it read "In loving memory of Debra Ford" she passed away in 2013.
Even though I never met this woman or have even read her books (I hear she wrote many) it's took me almost 10 hours to realize that I was deeply saddened by this. Over time I've learned to "disconnect" and or change my attitude almost instantly depending on the circumstances. I'm an optimist who believes in living day to day and taking "motivational baths" several times a day. This time though, it took me a while to even realize what was going on and why I'd been moping all day.
I understand death and I understand that sometimes it's hard to comprehend why people leave us sooner than we are prepared to let them go. I believe that there is another dimension out there where our soul gets to be free once it sheds our body and as far as I've been able to comprehend (thus far) I've made peace with this. I understand my purpose here and I believe in my heart that I will be around for quite a while. But today, just for today I am saddened because I realize that life is short. Very short. A blink of an eye short. And I haven't done enough, YET. I read some where that "Today, I have 100% of my life left" and I refuse to believe otherwise. I refuse to sulk in what I haven't accomplished and I WILL continue to ask for guidance in my path of life. I am a strong believer that things happen for a reason and "everything is part of everything" - Oprah. I received this message from a dear friend of mine yesterday and when I read it, I became instantly emotional because I am blessed to have this beacon of light to be part of my life guiding me even when I didn't realize how badly I needed guidance. Even through all that emotion, little did I know that this message would come back with such force less than 24 hours later.
"Today, I may have encountered some disappointment, an obstacle or two and maybe a bit of discouragement. However, I have a conviction and peace in my heart and soul in realizing that if I am given the opportunity to rise tomorrow morning I will give it my all once again." - SV
Today I am grateful to have had two opportunities at life. Two chances to stick around to live my purpose.
From my heart to yours,
LRP
